| | now is the recruiting season,
everything is pressing against me
unsettled schedule, fucking waitlist that never processes
my incompetence and lack of confidence is driving me to the corner
i have thought to myself over and over again
should i try for consulting
should i apply for Boston consulting group, bain, Deloitte consulting?
I dont know..
i dont even have the courage to go BCG and bain's info sessions
im such a failure
sometimes i cant even face myself, yet at the same time, im so frustrated at my inability
so skeptical, yet so desperate to break through the wall in front of me
on the way, i just keep making different excuses to tell myself not to think about it
there will be so many competitive ibankers, now is not the time to go into consulting, you can do consulting after mba, accounting pays almost equally well, and it goes on
sometimes.. i just wonder
is it b/c i dont want it bad enough
i remember someone says that, the barriers are there to prevent ppl who dont want it bad enough
i guess im one of them
even w/ deloitte audit, im not satisfied
i think i can go beyond accounting
but w/ this economy, w/ 340 ppl applied for one of the big 4's, w/ the pressing deadline to the offer
im just overwhelmed at the future career
so limited, so intimidated, so paranoid
i have always known that i have issues w/ my self confidence
i guess consulting is a hurdle to test my real courage
a real challenge that truly reveals my inner self
why does life feel so depressing...
maybe i just over-worry
fuck it.. urgh
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| | Posted 1/28/2009 10:31 PM - 5 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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